WHY SHOULD YOU WORK WITH US?

Our complimentary snacks are 97% free of bug parts and gravel.
No one in our company has ever killed a drifter for blood sport.
Our toilets almost never mysteriously exploded.
Unlike certain competitors, we will never drug you and steal your money.
Every Tuesday is "Bring Your Ungulate to Work Day."
After meetings, you do not need to return half-eaten muffins and bagels - they are yours to keep.
We have never missed a deadline due to rubella or the whooping cough.
We DO NOT sell client secrets in exchange for political favors. That's a company policy.
In the event of a water landing, our conference chairs double as floatation devices.
We have gone 64 days without a bear mauling.
If our office is attacked by pirates and you are kidnapped, we will not charge you for that day.
Coleman Partners is a tickle-free zone.
All masks, blindfolds and leatherwear are hypoallergenic for your comfort.
If you are EVER bitten by one of our weasels, we pay all medical expenses up to $500.
There is less than a 16% chance that our roof will ever completely cave in again.
If you have a problem with a member of our creative staff, we WILL allow you to challenge them to a dance-off. In fact, we encourage it.